Living Breezily: reflection

Made with love

With the wedding only fifteen days away, I've been thinking a lot about the engagement & wedding planning process amidst all of the craziness. And even though it may seem too soon to start giving out tips to other brides-to-be, I am confident that I have one that all brides should keep in mind. Besides the most important (and at times most difficult) reminder to enjoy being engaged and wedding planning, at this point I believe the second most important thing to remember is to share it.

Brandon made me this cute little sign for Christmas this year

Glad to see my craftiness rubbing off on him ;)

At the beginning of wedding planning, I was set on doing nearly everything myself. If I could have found a way to plant my own flowers to use I would have. (I ~~was~~ am pretty psycho when it comes to this stuff). I had been looking forward to planning my wedding for pretty much forever, so when the time came, I got a little too excited, and this insane-control-freak beast came erupting out of me. It took me a bit, but after realizing how much work a wedding of nearly 300 guests takes, I had no choice but to ask for help from anyone who I could get it from! Now I've realized that it's all of the people involved in my big day that are what make this incredible day even more special.

I may just be lucky when it comes to wedding vendors, but I have a lot of special people in my life providing some big things & some sweet little details for the wedding.

My whole vision came together with the help of a family friend with an insane mind for decor design, so all of the little details from the popcorn bar with its apple baskets to the tree stump "altar" came to be with her generous help. And she gave me a good reference to a floral designer... Her daughter! With the flowers being the main element of the decor, it has made everything so much less stressful and way more fun having someone so talented & sweet to help me.

Our photographer is a dear friend who I met through my church at school and who led a bible study for some college aged girls in our church group. So not only do we have an extremely talented photographer, but we have one who knows our personality & style and isn't afraid to make suggestions.

One of our engagement photos from our amazing photographer

Check her out at MK Loeffler Photography

The cake and cupcakes are being made with deliciousness & crazy Buhs family love by my mom's cousins who recently opened a bakery. The tree stumps for the "altar" are from where I grew up camping with my family. My garter is being made by my dad's cousin. Small details like the shutters to hold the place cards are from the house Brandon & I just bought. Crafting sessions with my mom & Brandon have been a weekly occurrence since I came back from Spain. Even my dad has helped with some of the more intimidating projects like carving our tree stump cake stand. And now that some of my bridesmaids are back from school, it's been fun having them help me make a few things (over margaritas of course).

And I do have to give Brandon a special shout out for being the greatest groom ever. He has been so patient with me through everything and done way more than most grooms normally do, I'm sure. It's been so much fun planning every detail and making them all with him.

My papa bear working on the tree stump cake stand

This is one of my favorite little details of the wedding!

You may not have a loved one providing every service for the big day, but the ones who do & the ones who help with the little things will make that part of the day so much more special. Maybe I'm just super sentimental, but having so many things made with love for my wedding has been my favorite part of planning. So whether you have a whole squad helping you with every single detail or just a few close family & friends helping plan the basics, soak up this fun time with them! And always let them know how much you appreciate them working to make your special day one of the best days of your life.

-Breezy

7:26 PM
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Follow your heart. Kind of.

faith

Like many other people in the world, I used to cling to the motto "follow your heart." I'm a very emotional and intuitive person, so this was not hard for me to do. I would pursue what simply felt right. And even though I've always been a pretty happy camper, looking back on that time from who I am now, I see a definite difference in who I was then. If I thought I was a happy person then, I wish I could have seen the happiness I have now!

Although those words seem so beautiful and like such a good mentality to have while going through life, I can't say that I fully agree with them any more. While the person with purest, sweetest heart can do amazing things in life, without something bigger in it, giving it purpose, can there be true happiness?

I have always had faith in Jesus, but up until a few years ago, I had not been truly striving to walk with the Lord and to surrender my life to him. I was following my own heart and selfish desires. For example: dance. I have danced my whole life and have always loved doing it. But I was never the best, and this upset me and affected my self confidence for almost my whole life. No matter how much I improved or how hard I worked, there were always dancers so much better than me, with so much talent that they just blew me out of the water. What did they have that I didn't!? Was that it? Just pure natural talent? I wondered about this for the longest time. When I got to college, I took a break from dance for a year. Then I transferred to Lindenwood University AKA the place where really freakin' good dancers go. I couldn't resist the amazing dance program, so I tried to get involved. This was one of the best and worst things I could have done. I got to dance every single day of the week which I loved, but I was always surrounded by these beautiful dancers who made me feel like a child dancing next to them. The next year, I joined the dance team. Again, I absolutely loved my time dancing with those girls and made some of the best memories of my life with them, but there were times where I still felt like I didn't belong on the floor with them. Like I wasn't worthy as a dancer.

My crazy awesome team from last year

So I asked myself the question again, "Why can't I dance like them?" "Do I need to work even harder?" "Why can't God have given me the natural ability some of these girls seem to have?" Well, I was getting closer to what he wanted me to see.

I stopped dancing after nationals last spring to study abroad in Spain. I felt more compelled to go abroad and to master the language than to stay and dance for another year. That didn't mean my love for dance (or the pressure to be an amazing dancer) left me. Watching dance videos and seeing my teammates pictures from football games and their posts about nationals choreography just increased my desire for dance. It all looked so inviting. But then I would remember how it made me feel. So freeing when it was just me on the floor, but invisible when I looked at others. After awhile, it all started to dawn on me… maybe God's plan for me isn't dance. Maybe he has something better for me in store. It was then that I realized a lot of the dancers I envied so much had completely thrown their lives into dance; that was their purpose. But my life hadn't. I chose to quit studio and devote more time to school and my friends. I found other things I loved doing like studying Spanish, crafting, writing, & giving more time to my future husband. It took me awhile, but now I see that this is OK! It's ok for me to not be the greatest dancer in the world! I still love to do it, and I will happily take class whenever I get the opportunity, because now I can dance freely knowing that dance isn't my life, it's just something I love to do. I don't need the pressure to be the best. Because right now, God wants me to be the best Spanish (almost) teacher & best wife in the world. These are His desires for my life, and I am finding them so much more fulfilling than my selfish to desire to try to be a perfect dancer.

Psalm 37:4 says, "Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." This verse has been so special to me this past year, because I am finding that as I grow closer with God, his desires fill my heart with the desire to follow him. So I can say that I am continuing to follow my heart, my heart is just following some thing else way bigger now.

-Breezy